The One About Post-pandemic Parenting

If surviving the pandemic was hard, raising kids after it seems harder.

Author's Note: The following essay presents a broad, observational analysis of post-pandemic societal trends supported by insights from various books. Admittedly, it is a focused look on the negative effects associated with the pandemic, especially from a parenting perspective. Also, mentioning specific examples has been intentionally omitted to avoid a shift in the discourse. It is a detour from my usually cheerful essays but this somehow felt necessary, especially after watching the much-acclaimed Netflix series, Adolescence; however, this is not about the series as such.

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Human history is neatly divided into the distant Before Common Era (BCE) and the ongoing Common Era (CE) — a structured way to mark the march of civilization. But there are other, more recent divisions as well, such as Pre-World War, Post-World War, and now, an even closer distinction: Before Pandemic (BP) and After Pandemic (AP).

Before the pandemic, we lived in blissful ignorance — shaking hands, hugging, and attending concerts without a second thought. But the pandemic not only changed our hygiene habits but also the very fabric of society where a simple sneeze had the power of stunning the entire room in silence! After the pandemic, the world hit a collective reset, but instead of emerging wiser and more united, we somehow managed to retreat into bad tribalism, distrust, and reactionary thinking; as if the removal of the mask revealed our primal instincts!

We didn’t just live through a pandemic; we lived through a global social experiment in fear, isolation, and misinformation. And now, as parents raising kids in the messy aftermath, we’re left asking: What kind of world are we creating for them and how to prepare them for it?

The pandemic fundamentally rewired our social dynamics. Constant fear puts our brains in overdrive, making us more reactive. Prolonged stress doesn’t exactly encourage rational thinking — it pushes us into ‘fight or flight’ mode. So, it’s no surprise that ever since, the world has felt like an anxiety-fuelled roller coaster on loop. Resultant lockdowns left people isolated and depressed, craving a community, which unfortunately, they found in the worst possible places: conspiracy forums, aggressive messaging groups, and popular (un)social media platforms.

Before social media was anti-social, it was about connecting people. Lately, it has become a monstrous machine that divides. Instead of facilitating exposure to different perspectives, algorithms intentionally curate custom-made echo chambers where like-minded people swim, and ultimately drown, in their own opinions.

And if ‘paying’ attention for receiving instant gratification was not enough to deteriorate our health, our collective heart rate went up amidst the rise of the Artificial Intelligence (AI) arms race. Now, anxiety multiplies with the release of every AI tool that is not only equipped to do the mundane work often associated with MS Excel sheets, but also pursue creative endeavors such as writing, drawing, and creating music; reducing humans to button-pressing bots.

Meanwhile, our broader social structures have been wobbling.

Sizeable human settlements shaped by social and cultural norms tend to be hierarchical for functional purposes. But when trust in the authority at the top crumbles, a vacuum forms. And in times of uncertainty, people often instinctively seek order and security, even at the cost of their freedoms. Those who crave power understand this well and are more than happy to deepen the cracks, exploit the instability, and present themselves as the saviour. That, in a nutshell, is what has been plaguing the post-pandemic world at multiple levels.

While the pandemic didn’t technically cause wars, it certainly didn’t help global stability. Economic turmoil, political unrest, and countries deciding they were done playing by the once-agreed rules have led to a world where international cooperation seems more like an ancient myth than contemporary reality. The early 21st century was among the most peaceful periods in global human history, which, it is safe to say, has now unfortunately ended.

For those of us raising kids in this mess, it’s deeply concerning. It feels like my 15-month-old is part of a generation that’s growing up in a world where self-interest beats collaboration, where attention spans are algorithmically shortened for capital gains, and where meaningless outrage has better engagement rates than meaningful reasoning.

Of course, the cyclic nature of enlightenment and chaos has been going on for ages. But what makes this era different is the speed at which misinformation spreads. An event happens, and within minutes, like a response to stimuli, there are several mindless opinions, a conspiracy theory, and a baseless three-hour podcast concluding the story. One hydra-headed trend dies down only to be replaced by others. And the search for objective truth is lost amidst subjective, and often agenda-driven, narratives.

As a parent, that’s part of my concern.

• How do I raise a child who values thinking over reacting?

• How do I nurture curiosity when acceptance of the status quo is the norm?

• How do I ensure that she prioritises harmony over anarchy?

Maybe, the answer is in immunising against the rapidly spreading fake news virus as a start and following it up with:

• Teaching her to prioritize understanding over validation.

• Raising her to accept that it’s okay to make mistakes and not tirelessly defend them.

• Helping her address cognitive dissonance via healthy coping mechanisms.

Awareness, acceptance, action!

I acknowledge that generational anxiety is not a new phenomenon. Throughout history, societies have grappled with periods of rapid change and uncertainty. However, the post-pandemic era presents unique challenges that distinguishes it from previous times.

• The unprecedented speed at which misinformation spreads, amplified by social media, creates an environment where the functional objective truth is increasingly difficult to discern.

• Furthermore, the global interconnectedness of our world, coupled with the rise of AI, has created new anxieties that previous generations did not face.

• While perceptions of societal decline are often subjective, the evident polarisation and the erosion of trust in credible institutions is concerning.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

Maybe, there's hope if we stop mindlessly numbing ourselves by refraining from aimlessly following the next trend like an addict.

Maybe, the best thing we can do as parents is to equip children to navigate the world with critical thinking, resilience, and empathy; and also by keeping our and their ego in check.

Maybe the next step isn’t disengagement, but mindful engagement — with the self, with the other, and with nature.

The post-pandemic world has shown us how quickly things can spiral. But it’s also shown us how resilient, collaborative and adaptable we can be as a species. We still have a say in how this story unfolds. And as millennial parents our collective mission should be to raise a conscious generation that can collectively, judiciously, and sustainably write the next chapter of our human story and not mindlessly prompt it.

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