The One With Parenting And Artificial Intelligence

What if your parents had taken advice from a hallucinating robot?

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For generations, parents have navigated the minefield of Natural Stupidity using nothing but Natural Intelligence.

For the uninitiated, Natural Stupidity in the parenting context means questionable advice from well-meaning relatives, random strangers offering unsolicited wisdom at the park, and the occasional, ‘just let them cry it out’ suggestion that makes you question reality.

But now, the stakes have increased.

We have entered the era of Artificial Intelligence (AI) — which is fine, I am not a doomer.

What’s problematic is this: Artificial Intelligence in the hands of people with Natural Stupidity.

It’s one thing to get bad advice. It’s a whole other thing to get well-packaged bad advice at scale in 0.3 seconds! For instance, you ask a genuine question like ‘How do I get my toddler to sleep without staging a Naatu Naatu performance?’ and the AI-powered internet responds with ‘7 Ways to Optimize Your Toddler’s Circadian Rhythm Using Sound Therapy, Mindful Chanting, And Gregorian Monk Chants at 432Hz’.

Meanwhile, your beloved but outdated well-wisher, who thinks sugary fruit drinks are fruit juices, is now forwarding ChatGPT-generated parenting tips with the authority of an experienced pediatrician with multiple PhDs while struggling with typing ABCs on their latest smartphone.

Add to that the pressure of being bombarded with brain rot Reels that talk about ‘Why Your Toddler Isn’t Running Yet And How That Might Impact Their Chances Of Running For President’. Such Reels are often created using free AI tools by a clueless Gen Z intern hired by a clueless boomer for a clueless audience. The chaos is unfathomable.

I sincerely hope parents are not relying on AI to generate toddler meal plans. Because it hallucinates! One can only imagine the hallucinations your toddler might experience after eating meals based on such AI-hallucinated recipes. The aftermath of such a meal would lead you to search for, ‘Why is my baby talking to the washing machine and asking it for a banana?’

Enough of the AI technology that’s drunk on mediocre datasets sourced from mediocre masses. I want a sober technology that is free of hallucinations, which perhaps can only be created by someone who abstains from hallucinogens of all kinds, including pursuing the unquenchable thirst for world/universe/multiverse domination.

Honestly, I am just trying to figure out how to get my 15-month-old to stop licking the phone, while the world debates whether AI can replace pediatricians.

See, here’s my problem.

I want to be an informed parent. But to do that, I need to understand the information I am getting. And to understand the information, I need experts and institutions I can trust. But when they aren’t credible, or are constantly being called uncredible, there’s an incredible vacuum. And historically, when people don’t know whom to trust, they turn to stories that tell them what to do and fill the vacuum. AI is just the latest version of that.

I just want to say, for the record: I don’t want ChatGPT, Gemini, and Grok to form a panel and tell me how to raise my child. I would rather navigate my way through the minefield of Natural Stupidity using Natural Intelligence based on progressive course correction. I am already hallucinating thanks to a disrupted sleep cycle, and coupling this with AI hallucinations would frankly be a lot to handle!

All I am saying is this — let’s prioritise Natural Intelligence, use Artificial Intelligence judiciously, and avoid Natural Stupidity.

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